i need sex and like a 15 hour nap
And God said unto Abraham, “Abraham.”
And Abraham replied, “What.”
God said to John, “Come forth and receive eternal life.” But John came fifth and won a toaster.
And Judas approached the rabbis and Pharisees saying, “The one whom I kiss is the one you seek.”
To which they responded, “Gay.”
And thus, god made Eve. And she was bammin’ slammin’ bootylicious.
see you all in hell
I am a pretty quiet guy. I don’t do many outrageous things. I am always scared, nervous, worried that things won’t go as planned. But the other day someone at work asked me “What’s the craziest thing I’ve done.” On top of my head I didn’t have an answer. I felt boring. During most of the day at work I kept on thinking about. I couldn’t think of anything.
Later that day, the same person asked me how the house was going. I told him all the recent projects the got done and the new ones that were going to get started. He asked me if Lauren, was going to live with me or whatnot. I told him yes. He looked at and just said I don’t think you have a girlfriend. I was like why. He was like I never have seen a picture of her or anything. You always mention her and have told me you’ve been dating her for a while but I never seen her.
Now having a smart phone. I brought a bunch of photos of me and her. He just started laughing. I looked at him, puzzled. And asked what was so funny and he was like ” she looks like you. You guys seem to compliment each other. She has big glasses. Rocker haircut. You guys compliment each other. I happy for you. “.
I looked at one of the most recent photos and I was like ” yeah, we are two punks.” Feeling pretty proud/stoked.
That’s when it hit me.
Me going out with her has been the craziest thing that I’ve done. Why, because when we first met, I asked her out as my girlfriend. I am not an impulsive guy. That day I was. (Yeah, her friend had to reassure me that she did like me.) I asked her out. I never done that. I really had met her only online. Never really talked to her in person. We had a lot of similar interests but I really didn’t know how her personality was. I didn’t know her. Sort of took a leap of faith.
This may all be cheesy but our anniversary is today. ( it was yesterday April 15th. I fell asleep like three times while writing this. So now I am finishing it.) we have grown with each other. She took on a pretty big leap too. She didn’t know me. It’s just all crazy. We’ve been together now for 8 years. Been through a lot. Grandparents dying. People trying to break us up. New jobs. New house. New experiences. And to tell you the truth, I think it’s going to get a bit more wild and crazy ( all in a good way). The house is almost done. Floors are getting refinished and should be done today. Which when that is done means. That we paint and do some minor repairs in the rooms and were good to go. new chapters.
I can’t wait to live with you.
I can’t wait to spend Saturday with you.
I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you.
I love you so much.
ps. i know there are a lot of grammatical errors in this but i dont care. i wrote this at 12 am and now been up since 5 am.